Once upon a time, two strangers met on a rainy night in a little diner that specialized in the art of sushi. The place was called Little Tree, a place where they both frequented, but until this night, never housed them both at the exact same time. This time however, it was different. It was an arranged meeting.

Five days earlier, the gentleman had stumbled across some pictures of the beautiful young woman. Completely enamored with her glamour, he had to learn more about his new muse. He sought out some means to contact her, and as if fate had willed it, the method was laid right before him.

The strangers began talking, although invisible to the naked eye or ear. Words were playfully exchanged and interests were mutually peaked. After a short time, the sound barrier was broken and their voices were able to sing in each other’s ears. It wasn’t long at all before they decided they needed to see each other with their own eyes.

And so it happened. The young maiden was first to arrive, nervous to see if the stories were true. You see, just as the young man had been trying to learn about the young maiden, she had been doing a little research of her own. As it turned out, many of his life stories were open to the public eye, available to anyone who knew where to look. Although the woman may not have put much thought into it, she entered the relationship with quite an advantage, knowing much about her suitor than he did about her.

Not to long after her arrival, she saw the young man walking up from around the corner. He fit the tall, dark, and handsome cliché quite well actually. There was a natural tan in his skin, clearly from some sort of mixed ethnicity. He was very clean cut, dressed in charcoal grey slacks and a sharp grey dress shirt. The young woman took a moment to look him over as he walked by the window, holding an umbrella to shield himself from the rain. She must’ve liked what she’d seen, because her lips quietly let loose the words, “He’s cute.”

In he walked; he was a little nervous, but mostly excited. Never before had he ever had a date with someone that he’d never met. They came face to face and he couldn’t help but look her all the way up and down. She was stunning, all dolled up and sexy as hell. “Wow,” he said. “Pictures just can’t do enough justice sometimes.” The wonderful thing about him saying this was that it was genuinely true. It wasn’t just a line to get in her good graces, but rather an instinctive response to the beauty that was put before him. And then the perfect reaction followed: she blushed, smiled, and said thank you.

They got to know each other a fair bit as they talked over dinner. It was during this time that the young man realized how much he had to catch up in the learning about one another. After all, there was an open book about him, and she had checked it out. However, one thing that he did know about was her interest in learning the dancing style of salsa. As it turned out, it was no coincidence that there happened to be a night club around the corner that held salsa lessons that night. That being said, once dinner was over, they walked through the rain together, arm in arm, towards the club.

The music filled the air and multicolored lights illuminated their surroundings. An instructor pulled the group together and began teaching. Having a solid background in swing dancing, the suitor was able to put on a fairly good show. He wasn’t good by any means, but for a first timer, he was able to catch on fairly quickly. The maiden however, wasn’t doing quite as well. She requested a drink break, to which the bachelor was happy to provide.

They walked to the bar and he ordered drinks for the two of them. They stood there, trying to talk over the music, sipping on their drinks. The conversation was decent enough, but the man couldn’t help losing himself to the sight that lay before him. He watched how the moving lights would dance across her long golden hair; he noticed her inviting body language, arms relaxed and her body leaning just slightly towards him; and he couldn’t keep his eyes from focusing on her lips as she spoke to him. And then it happened. He spoke up saying, “I’m sorry, I just can’t wait any longer.” He ever so smoothly slid his body up close to hers, placed his right hand gently on the back of her neck, turned his head ever so slightly to the left and went in for a long awaited kiss. Their eyes fell closed, their arms wrapped lightly around one another, and they continued to lose themselves in the moment. It was their first kiss, the first of thousands more to come.

...I'm going to a Michigan State (vs. Notre Dame) football game.

What does a person write when they haven't for over four months.  I've written,  but everything is about my dad, and most of it very factual.

I find myself in a similar position to the time after I had my brain surgeries; I'm trying to figure out how I've changed and who I am again.  About a week ago, almost in a panic, I registered for classes at Wayne State again.  For a little while, the joke was that I just don't know how to stop.  But I don't think that's the case.  I did have every intention of taking a break for a year or two before continuing my education again.  However, I registered in somewhat of a panic, and didn't really try to figure out why until a couple of days after the fact.  In short, I think I'm trying to reconnect with the Robin I was before this tragedy occurred.  For the past 8 years, I have been deeply involved with 3 things, almost to a defining level of myself: Rennaissance Festival, Kanar, and Schooling.  Well, Kanar has lost its luster after the drama at the beginning of the year, and because of my break up with Jessica, Faire has been tainted as well.  The only thing that I know to be Robin, and is something that I can fully go back to, is school.  All that being said, I have begun working on my ESL endorsement.

My dad made it back with no additional complications.  He is exhausted, which is to be expected, but the important thing is that he's home.

My brother and I just underwent 24 hours of straight traveling, with some wonderfully ridiculous layovers and delays.  I'm crashing, at home, which feels so good.

"Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

~ Morrie Schwartz

This quote is from Tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom.  A few days ago, my dad said to my brother and me that if we read it, we'd have a good idea of what he was going through right now.  We did... and it is wonderfully appropriate.

My father is probably the most loving men that you could ever meet.  He gives to the world on so many different levels.  He lives the ideal of this quote.  As a friend, as a son, a husband, father, and teacher, he has carried a purpose.  He is the rock cast into the still stream; his ripple effect has done so much for the world, that I am sure of.

I am so lucky to have him

From what my family tells me, his day was tiring, but not too bad.  His back is none too happy about being bedridden for so long, so they had to give him some pain medication and muscle relaxers for it.  They made him drowsy, but better.

He's pretty much leveled out for the time being.  His vitals are stable and he is able to talk to us some.  He can hear perfectly fine, and he enjoys us talking around him and the music I have set up for him, constantly running through my laptop.

Amir is with him tonight.  We're taking shifts so that he is never alone.  Things are as good as they're going to get I think.

~ Robin

12 pm
As I sit next to my dad, with him practically unconscious in the hospital, I find myself very torn.  he was in so much pain that they had to dope him up on a lot of morphine, and because of the morphine, he is practically dead to the world.  he knows we're here, and that helps... but that only goes so far.  We can lift his spirits to keep him fighting, but we can't stop the bleeding, the clotting, the rupturing, or the pain.

At what point is it too much?  We hold on for dear life, quite literally, but will he have any quality life left in him?  If this is all he has left, do we make him suffer through it, or would it be more humane to just stop?  I hate being the pessimist, it just isn't me.  I have always been the eternal optimist, but at what point do you have to face reality?  If the doctors say that they can keep him alive, stop the bleeding, stabilize hime, and make him comfortable, how are we really supposed to feel about that?  If he is destined to remain in the hospital, in pain, paralyzed on his left side, constantly being doped up on morphine as he slowly wastes away, is it selfish of us to want him to stay for that time?

2pm
We just got the news that we have been dreading to hear.  It's most likely going to be a few days, and that we're going to make him as comfortable as we can.  We're all a mess.  Now the question becomes, what do we do?  Well, we know how to lay him to rest, and we know that we don't want to talk to everyone individually, which is why we are communicating over the internet in mass messaging.  It hurts too much to talk about it over and over again.  The question, "how are you doing" is ridiculous.  The answer is obviously, "horrible."

So what do we do once he's gone?  Do we have him cremated here and bring back his ashes, or do we fly his body back so his mom can be present for that?  I can only imagine how she feels.  Everyone always says that the hardest thing in life is to lose a child, and that no parent should have to endure that.  Although I don't have children, I understand. 

5pm
We  have to let him go.  Early this afternoon (mid-morning for those in the states), the doctor sat down with all of us and delivered the harsh reality of the situation.  The only thing we can do for him is send him off as painlessly as possible.  

We started a process to relieve his pain, that will also slowly let him go within 48 hours.  We have been staying by his side and talking to him.  Although he seems to be completely gone, he can still hear us.  We can occasionally get a word or two out of him, but for the most part, it's only facial expressions without his eyes ever opening.  

We came home for the night to get some sleep.  Tomorrow, we will go back to the hospital to be with him through the end.

To all those who have been writing, thank you.  Even though it's impossible for anyone to actually do anything, your kind words do mean something to me.

~ Robin

At 2 pm on Sunday, I received a call from my mother in London.  She and my dad were supposed to be on holiday, but everything went wrong.  My father is in the hospital with a blood clot in his lungs and ruptured tumors in his brain.  I was on a plane to London by 7pm the same day.

I don't know when I'll be back.

take care,
Robin

I know it’s only been about 3 weeks since I’ve last written, but I feel like there is so much I have to write about.  I think I can break it up into five main categories:

1)      My graduation and birthday

2)      My meeting Jennifer

3)      Kanar

4)      Work

5)      Family

As I’ve already stated, my party on the 6^th went really well.  On the 9^th, my little gathering, leading into my midnight shot for my birthday, went well too.  It was nice and low key, the way I had planned it.  It was Melissa, Gary, Ray, Cheri, Eva, Bob, Olya, her sister Ina, and Matt, my friend since 1^st grade.  We all went to Bailey’s in downtown Dearborn, watched the Pistons game, which we won, played some pool, chatted, and had a bit to drink.  I didn’t have nearly the same amount as I did on the 6^th, but I was still having drinks bought for me.  I think I went through 2 woodchucks, an Irish car bomb, an Oberon, cement mixer, and a mind eraser.  It was good.  To all those who joined in the celebration, thank you.

So, a little tired going into my actual birthday, I still mustered up the energy to have an awesome first date with Jennifer, someone I met on myspace of all places.  You know, I never thought I’d ever try to meet anyone over the internet… it just sounded artificial.  But due to the vast popularity of myspace, and my desire to read up on people’s lives from time to time, I joined.  Then one day, when I had some time to kill, I searched for people in my area, just because.  In doing so, I found Jennifer.  I sent her a message, she replied, we flirted a bit, and now we’re dating.  So far, everything seems to be going really well.  If anyone wants to read up on her, you can find the link for her through my friends on my myspace site.  My user name there is the same, pm_trombley.
 

Kanar has been a fucked up experience the past few weeks.  Namely out of game.  I think I’ll make it it’s own separate post so as not to bitter this one. 

Work is going well, although 50% of the time, I feel more like a glorified babysitter than I do a teacher.  The other 50% of the time, I feel closer to a tutor, which is teaching, but different nonetheless.  I enjoy working with some of the students, and I have the patience to deal with the challenges of this alternative inner-city detoit school, so it makes the job enjoyable.  I’m not as stimulated as I would be in a normal classroom where I could teach with more passion, but I am still learning quite a bit, and it’s a good resume builder as well.

Now, as for my family, more specifically my dad, everything is kinda calm for the moment.  He's persistently exhausted, as he is undergoing his radiation.  It's nice to have my brother in town, although the reasons behind it are obviously horible.  Mother's day was good, but as always on my dad's side of the family, somewhat superficial.  It's family, so you see each other, but there is no true connection aside from that.  We will always 'love' each other as a family member does, or perhaps it's just what we are raised to do.  Anyhow, my immediate family, and my mom's side, is extremely close and loving, and those relationships are genuine and strong; that is what matters most to me.  We are going through trauma, but we are doing so together.